Too Much Love?

The other day, when I was corresponding with some fans of my employer’s website, I second guessed having referred to one of them as a “rockstar” in her field. “Too much?” I’d asked.

“Absolutely not,” Lissa answered. “You can never be over the top when telling someone how wonderful they are. It’s impossible to put too much kindness out into the world. Do you know what a gift it is to be able to give and receive love?”

I thought about that for a second. A gift. As in, a talent. As in, it doesn’t come naturally to most people on this planet. Really? Of course. It’s true. Why else would I have asked if I’d gone over the top by paying a compliment to this wonderful artist?

We call it things like gushing. Undue credit. Ego inflation. We deem it a bad thing. Inappropriate, we label it. Nobody should be made to feel TOO good about themselves.

Huh?

I know. Yet this is what most of us do automatically. Perhaps we all have the capacity to put love out in the world and take it into ourselves (same as we all have the ability to be psychic), but how many of us use it?

Lissa went on to say that she’d never in her life regretted using terms of endearment, giving compliments, pointing out a strength, giving a hug … and when I thought about it, neither have I. If anything, the only thing to regret is not having done such things enough – having withheld a kindness.

It seems silly to say, but … it’s actually kind of okay to tell people outside of our immediate families that we love them, or to touch their arm, or to offer them praise. I count myself among the fortunate few who, by nature or nurture, have developed my own ability to give and receive love – physically, verbally, and spiritually. It was just a remarkable wake-up call to realize that not everyone can just … do this.

Can you try it? Tell someone that you think they’re awesome – even if they haven’t yet transformed the very fabric of society (even though they have – we’re all doing that, all the time. Another subject for another post, though). Compliment them on something they do well, even if they’re not The Best in the World at it. Hand out a “sweetie;” offer a hand or a hug. Smile big at a stranger, for goodness sake. If it feels uncomfortable, ask yourself why.

The worst that can happen is that the recipient will be slightly baffled, not knowing quite what to DO with the love. It may be received like a flower from an airport Krishna: “uh … oh, okay. Yeah, thanks. Wow, it’s ... beautiful! What the hell am I supposed to do with it? What do you expect from me? I am now nervous, so I shall sidle uncomfortably away." Without knowing them, though, I can tell you that that’s exactly what they need, and some part of them will understand it. They don’t need another criticism (“constructive” or otherwise), a corporate-HR-appropriate gesture, or just to be left alone. An iota of your offering will get inside, germinate, start to bloom. Maybe they’ll even pay it forward.

There is nothing in the world to lose. It’s a start at waking up the world to the fact that we are innately harmonious, cooperative, loving beings. Right now, most of us still don’t get it … both in the sense of understanding and also, simply, receiving.

Crack open your heart just a little. Extend acceptance to a fellow human. Imbue our love-starved world with some of that affection juju you’ve got running in rivers and oceans just under the surface of you.

It’s actually impossible to go overboard.

Peace,

Joy

Comments

[joj]

Praise, a compliment, a smile or random act of kindness, you are so right. It just might change someone's day and they may in fact actually pay it forward. It has to start somewhere, one person at a time. What a wonderful world it would be! xoxo

[joe elliott]

this is a good post. thank you.