A few days ago my father passed away.
We had an estranged relationship at best.
However, when the call came I wept. I wept all the tears I had been holding onto.
My daughter, fortunately or unfortunately, was witness to my very truthful moment.
Trying to explain, trying to console, trying to make sense of all the emotions we both had.
My daughter was sad she would never see him again, even though I could count the times she had ever seen him on one hand.
We talked about how she could no longer see him with her body eyes, but would now have to use her spirit eyes to see him.
She then told me he was her favorite Grandfather and went on to decorate for Halloween as if nothing had happened.
I couldn't understand how she could make that statement about my dad. I couldn't see how that could be possible given who he was.
Then I went to help clean out his apartment.
There were notes and letters and photographs and journals. Things that showed me a man I had never meet. Things that showed me a kinder gentler man who tried.
I thought back on the advice I gave my daughter, " See him with your spirit eyes."
It is sad I only used my body eyes to see him when he was alive. If I used my spirit eyes when he was alive I might have been able to forgive him and love him in away I never was able.
My spirit eyes now see a man who did the best that he could given his circumstance. My spirit eyes now see a man who loved his children and wanted to find away to express that. My spirit eyes see that even though he was broken with demons, he went on and aimed for greatness. My spirit eyes see his soul and mine as one.
The eyes of my eyes have been awoken and can never go back to sleep again. Thank you Dad for giving me one of the greatest gifts ever. I will see the world with more kindness and love in my heart. I will be more connected with oneness. I will use my spirit eyes to see all the people in my life.
Dad- the spirit in me recognizes the spirit in you.
With love,
Krissy
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