How to braid hair

I took my 87 year old grandmother with me to Vermont this past weekend.  The trees already spectacular with burst of amber, fire, and pumpkin.  The air crisp but still warm enough for a light sweatshirt.

We filled our time with general store purchases of Maple Syrup, flea market finds, and healthy portions of apple pie(Ok, the portions were rather large). The hours drifted calmly from one simple moment to the next.

And in one of those simple moments everything seemed to change.  My grandmother just recently battled Breast Cancer, has emphysema, osteoporosis, weighs 90 pounds, and shows signs of congestive heart failure.No one expected her to be chopping wood for the fire.  AT this point, her frailty of body seemed natural and OK.  We have gotten use to it, accepted it.  SO has she. What we were not prepared for was the changes in her mind.

She asked to braid my hair on Saturday morning.

"Like I did when you were a kid."  she winked

I gathered the comb, rubber bands, and got myself in that familiar cross-legged sitting position nestled between her legs.

She tried.  She tried so hard.  But for all her want, my grandmother simple could not remember how to braid.  Near tears, she settled on coiffing my hair in this sort of half braid pony tail number then quietly tucked herself into a bedroom.

I suspect she cried.  Being in that place somewhere between blissfully unaware and painfully astute.

I have heard it called a "Second Childhood" before.  I suppose because of lose of independence and the needing to be looked after like a child might. But what I witnessed was far from anything like a childhood.  Laughter and lollipops of real childhood were noticeably missing.  The joy and magic  somehow alluded my grandmother.

So, her body and now mind are starting to journey.  My heart tells me though, her spirit , even though outwardly diminished, soars inside of her.  As she changes, I must change.  Because that is how I can reach her now.   I think when she wants to remember how to braid my hair again I will say to her , "Not today mom, but let's talk about how it felt to do it when I was little."  Truthfully, it is not the hair braiding she really wants to do and remember, but rather a time in our lives that was pure and sweet.  Through that sprit connection we can be together again in a real second childhood of simple happiness. 

Oh, I almost forgot to tell you how to braid hair: with love.

I love you, Mom mom.

Namaste,

Krissy

Comments

[Tracy]

Braiding hair seems like such a child thing to do but but we all do it until we are old as the hills

[Krissy]

So true, Tracy. Do you remember how awesome you felt when you first learned how to do it on your own:)

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